there are certain people you meet and your unsure..unsure quite what to say to them because they have already figured you out and your left standing there like fish out of water gulping (in my your head) panicing on what to say.
and you never quite get there.
you talk far far too much then needed because the silence is ment to be filled….isn it?, because youd rather have them make assumptions based on your own words rather then what you look like because you look like YOU a bit too much. nothings changed physically but talking and talking and talking will make you feel as if youve changed.
now all you have to do is make them think the same. fooling yourself is easy-er, its always been easy.a bit reassurance here and a touch of motivation and promises to ones self there.sorted.
so back to THOSE people, the ones with the intense glares and right pauses and puffs of noise at the correct times. they have monologues for everything,one liners in bold and exits indicated.
when they are there you start feeling like an extra in your own life, you were never quite_____________’s friend, you were _____ ‘s friend who is friends with ____________ so your just a friend by proxy.
your at a party but all these people are actually AT the party, your just background noise or a body to fit the space.
WELL TALKING ABOUT IT WONT CHANGE ANYTHING, CHANGE IS AN OVER USED WORD,SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO TAKE A LONG HARD THINK AND TALK TO YOURSELF,COS YOUR WORN OUT AND HAD ENOUGH OF BEING THE SPARE.
BE YOUR OWN PERSON (HATE TO SOUND ALL DEAD POETS SOCIETY BUT..) YOUR AN EXTRA BECAUSE YOU CHOOSE TO BE AN EXTRA.
FUCK THAT.
